Professor Slughorns Annual Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration
by Wicked Galaxies
Summary: "Of course James would never dare miss out on a good party. The thing, of course, is that Slughorn's parties aren't parties. When James thinks of a party, he thinks of a debaucherous night spent, well, partying. Marauding. Waking up with a pet hippogriff and not knowing how it ended up in your dorm, only knowing that it is a great cuddler. That kind of partying." est. L/J fut. R/S
1. PROLOGUE

i posted this on ao3 back in july but didnt get much feedback for it, so i figure i would post it here and gauge what kind of reception i would get for it. i have not finished writing it yet. the actual title is Professor Slughorn's Annual Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration of '78, but has a lower character limit.

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While most famously to the known world was Horace Slughorn's Christmas Party, at his time present as the Potions Professor at Hogwarts in the 1970's, the poor man held a party so infamous to the masses that, even though it was never held again, was talked about 20, 30, 50 years P.S.A.A.L.A.C. (post-Slughorn's Annual Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration.)

It started innocent. Slughorn expected it to go just as any other party would, held like every other year- he would mingle, network, drink some mead and generally spend the evening chatting with other high-ranking or beneficial members of the Wizarding community. After the celebration wrapped up he would bid the guests a good night and a safe travel home. Then full and tipsy with liquor, he would don his finest harpie-silk robe and snooze gracefully in bed, content with knowing that the party, like every other year, was again a success.

The poor man.

You see, Askafroa Liberation Day is a wizard holiday. Originating in Germany in the twelfth century, it commemorates the day that the last living six-legged toad was sacrificed to an Askafroa tree in the small wizarding community of Schimmeliges Brot, thereby lifting the curse that those who touched the branches -or even fallen leaves-, would develop bark on their body.

As you could well understand and sympathize with, the Askafroa tree's sap fermented excellently; it was a fine and warming drink in the middle of a deadly cold winter. A wizard could never resist tapping into the trees to get the fine, comforting liquid. For the sake of wizardkind, sacrifice was extremely necessary. The last six-legged toad did not see death as a necessity, but it didn't really have a say in the matter, being a toad and all. Since the sap was so good, so fulfilling, and so tasteful, the toad was a sacrifice the Wizards were willing to make.

While much more popular among German wizards, Slughorn used this obscure day to get together with colleagues and mingle. He was cultured, and he could show it off as much as he pleased, thank you very much.

The Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration was planned to start on the night of February the Eighteenth, 1978, and would end at the time when, historically, the toad was sacrificed- the late hour of 1:32 AM. On most occasions, it would be a group of well-mannered wizards around a fireplace watching the stars from the comfort of a cushioned armchair, raising their crystalline glasses to the brave toad.

It did not end that way this year.


	2. ACT I - THE CONCEPTION

**ACT I - THE CONCEPTION**

I.I.

It was a nice day, as sunny as it could get in Scotland in January, which meant that it was gloomy and dark out. Five teenagers sat at a dinner table, eating, and seemingly engaged in a heated debate.

"If you apparate to the other side of the world where it would be daylight, would you still become a werewolf?"

"Maybe, but you can't apparate that far," said Lily, who wanted this debate to end so she could eat her food in peace. (She hadn't had a quiet meal in seven years, it was extremely unlikely she'd ever get one.)

"Remember that story about Channary Chatterjee who tried to go to America and she ended up with her entire left side there?" Sirius quipped.

"Well I heard she's all right now,"

"Well I heard she came back with a bald eagle perched on her shoulder,"

"That's part's a joke, Pete. Nice pun, Moony," James said "Back to the point, in theory, you would be able to avoid the full moon by travelling to a place where it's daylight, but you'd have to do it really quickly,"

"You could always use a portkey,"

"You could, but we're not testing this theory out," Remus said "there're too many factors- sunset, sunrise, whatnot, and you have to register portkeys with the Ministry" his voice turned into a mockery of one, " 'Oh excuse me Mr. Minister Minchum, we want to test out whether or not I turn into a werewolf in China, and we would like that portkey, thanks, you're such a sweetie.' "

Sirius and James had the audacity to look only slightly offended, "We still stand by our hypothesis."

Lily Evans was busy thinking about her own eventual self-administered guillotine if she had to listen to them talk about this for one more minute when an owl landed on top of her unfinished dinner and started to eat her chicken. Cannibal.

A large owl, at that. It shook its left claw- there was an envelope strung to it, sealed with a large wax stamp with an "S" on it. After she untied the letter, the owl flew off with a piece of its own kind clutched between its beak. Lily pushed her plate away and examined the letter. The outside was swirling and highly decorated, gold stars fading and reviving on the paper. Her name on the outside was written in glitter ink. When she broke the seal, a firework of gold coloured streams ran along the paper.

"Admirer?" James asked, stuffing his face with mashed potato.

"Poor Sluggy is at again." Lily said, folding open the parchment inside, "It's the invitation to his annual Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration. I don't know why he doesn't just ask me in person."

"He's nervous. Can't handle rejection, that one." Sirius chimed in, waving his own letter he just got from Slughorn back and forth.

"Are you going to go?" James asked his girlfriend, watching from the corner of his eye as Sirius burnt, with a lighter, the corner of the letter he also received from Slughorn.

"Probably." Lily said, shrugging, "It was really boring last year, but I can bring a plus one."

Remus took Sirius' lighter away and stared at him incredulously. He held the plastic device away from Sirius' reach and stored it in his pocket, ignoring the cries of dismay that followed. Where the hell did Sirius get a muggle lighter from?

"Wanna come with me, Potter?" Lily asked, elbowing him.

"That might be offensive, bringing a date to your husband's party."

Her eyes narrowed a bit. "I've changed my mind." Lily turned to flash a pageant-winning smile at the person across from her, "Remus, would you like to come with me?"

Remus examined the burnt invitation he had picked up and raised an eyebrow, "You know Slughorn and I aren't exactly the chummiest of chums."

"He's not mean to you."

"But he does make a lot of backwards comments. Once, I accidentally ripped a piece of paper in two and he asked me if 'it was that time of the month'. Or that time he asked me if I could hear or see better. He frustrates me to no end."

"Lily!" James interrupted, "I never said I objected. My morals aren't that good."

"I've noticed." she replied dryly, patting him on the shoulder. "Remus, I think Slughorn is just curious, but going at in the wrong way. James-" Lily said, "it's next month. If you're not there by nine I'm pretty sure there're a few medieval torture devices still hiding around in the dungeons."  
Remus nodded in agreement. To which statement he nodded to is best kept unknown.

Of course James would never dare miss out on a good party.

The thing, of course, is that Slughorn's parties aren't parties. When James thinks of a party, he thinks of a debaucherous night spent, well, partying. Marauding. Waking up with a pet hippogriff and not knowing how it ended up in your dorm, only knowing that it is a great cuddler. That kind of partying.

He really doesn't want to spend hours in the same room with some people listening to the Symphonic Sirens, which is already on its twenty-eighth generation of musicians and hasn't put out a new song in ten.

He really doesn't want to stand in front of some American wizard going on about her latest booming business in teeth-cleaning sticks for hours, and how James, as an heir to a company, oughta take pride in his work and may as well drop out of Hogwarts this very second to pursue expanding the line of Sleekeazy's Hair Potions.

Like that is his top priority.

Sorry, Dad.

This was his final year at Hogwarts. It should be memorable.

"I think you should go to Sluggy's party." James said to Sirius, both of whom were sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor Common room.

"Now why in Merlin's left tit would I do that?" came the reply.

"Because I think we could liven up the party a little bit." James said, eyebrows waggling.

"You want to crash his party?"

"You're invited to his party. Remus and Peter are crashing the party."

"I'm allowed to bring a plus-one, you bint."

"Padfoot, I'm hoping something a little less conventional will be your plus-one."

"Ah. Will it be a hippogriff again? The basilisk, perhaps?"

James made a scoffing noise, "Been there, done that. I'm sure we can think of something better. Original" he said, tapping the tip of his wand to his temple twice. "I have a few ideas, but this _is_ a team plan."

You see, Sirius had a skill. A skill that was known all throughout Hogwarts, it was a whispered and coveted skill. First years, fresh faced and curious, would ask about the handsome young Gryffindor with the lustrous midnight hair, and would be introduced to Sirius O. Black, the Grandest Wizard of Partying and Making Memorable Occasions, © 1976 James Fleamont Potter, All Rights Reserved. ("Yes, it is officially copyrighted, I put a c with a circle around it, Moony!" -J.F.P., Fifth Year)

The modern-day renaissance man, that Sirius Black.

It was his repertoire; skillset; ammunition. Memorable occasions found him, breathed life into Dementor-kissed lungs, gave him ideas and gave those around him a chance to be exuberant and spontaneous. It was one for the books, a story to remember. A grandmother will sit at her rocking chair, telling her grandchildren of the one time she partied with the legendary Sirius Black, who hopefully by that time, would have been promoted to a mythically divine status.

"No, but listen, Sirius. Bro. This is important. Slughorn's Annual Askafroa whatever celebration has to be one for the books. One that, twenty years from now, people will still talk about. They will say 'Well, this is a fun party, but it doesn't beat '78's.' They will say 'That Sirius and James, what a duo. What absolute madmans.' It's a legacy that we need to carry on. Mischief. Mayhem. Marauding. It's our last year at school, and not an hour to waste."

Sirius nodded his head a bit. "I assume you have a plan, then, already."

"I always have a plan." James said, grinning.

Remus closed the cover of a book with a resounding thump noise, which let a puff of dust fly out, which then, in a domino-like reaction, caused Peter, who just so happened to be inhaling at that exact second, to let out a very loud sneeze, which effectively struck down the card tower he was building, him swearing loud enough his grandmother would probably send a Howler at tomorrow's breakfast because that old bird knew everything - him letting out the vehement word in the first place because quite an unusual amount of effort was put into that card tower and itself was a strain on his already short attention span, his concentration now broken, and all of it left him mildly raging - awaking Lily - who was having quite the dream about a mysterious dark-haired beauty, might I add - and she seemed a bit stunned by it all when she came to.

Recovering, she said, "Bless you."

"Morning, Princess." Remus said, face shadowed by the descending sun.

Lily yawned.

"It is currently 7:49, you slept fifty minutes, Mercury is in Sagittarius, I finished my essay, you slept, Sirius and James are planning on crashing Slughorn's party -which Padfoot was invited to- and Peter made quite the card tower before he blew it down with his sneeze and is now pouting because he said 'Fuck'. Just catching you up."

"They're going to Slughorn's Annual Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration?" Lily asked.

"Well not as an influential and respectful member of the Wizarding Community, they aren't." Remus pondered, "I think Sirius is planning on crashing into the place riding his motorbike and playing a flaming guitar."

"At the same time?"

Remus shrugged, "Probably."

Lily rolled her eyes at that. Peter's mouth opened with awe and he stared with glazed eyes into the distance like he was imagining Sirius doing just that. Maybe he was wondering how much it would cost to get a portrait of that painted, framed, and hung up in the Grand Staircase next to the cute girl with the big eyes who spindled the mauve-coloured robe.

"I suppose you're both crashing it then, as well?" she said to Remus and Peter, while rolling up a scroll of parchment.

"I told them I want to stay out of it." Remus said while Peter nodded feverently. What were they talking about, again?

(He had nicknamed her Jessica because she was too busy making that robe to tell him her real name. Those darn spinsters weren't really the friendly type.) The light turned on in his head. Oh, right. Party.

"We're going to turn it into a real party." he said, just to feel like he contributed something.

Lily nodded once and shoved her unopened textbook into her bag. "Anything else?"

Peter scrunched up his eyebrows and thought. It looked painful.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "James is looking for a drum set. Do you know where we could get one?"

"Up his arse."

"How roomy it must be up there." Remus said.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Lily said, "See you upstairs."

Remus would really not like to know. But he did not say that because Lily had already left and Peter had taken upon himself to get out a piece of parchment and write _'POSSIBLE PLACES TO FIND A DRUM KIT'_ underlined as the title and _'Hagrid's hut?'_ as the first suggestion.

When Lily walked into the boy's dorm, James and Sirius were sitting there crossed-legged on the bed opposite of each other, with a piece of paper between them. The words scribbled on the paper were indecipherable, and even more so because Sirius ripped it away as soon as he saw the flash of red hair that whipped through the door frame.  
Lily stood in the doorway, bag slung over her back and a look that sort of reminded Sirius of McGonagall when she was lecturing them on why it was a bad idea to play garden-gnome baseball, especially when it was supposed to be detention (James won that game, and Sirius can't even rematch him because they're not allowed to even as much go near the gnomes anymore.)

"James. Sirius." she said, "I have been warned that you are planning to crash Slughorn's Annual Askafroa Liberation Anniversary Celebration Party -wow is that ever a mouthful to say- and would like to be accredited as being a person that has taken no part in both the scheming and acting out of your plot. Thank you for your wonderful listening skills." she said

"I am planning no such thing, dearest."

Lily raised her eyebrows. There was a moment of silence.

"I can't believe Pete sold us out like this." Sirius said.

"Actually, it was Remus."

"Ah." James nodded, "He's a prefect, it's in his blood to snitch."

"And you're Head Boy -somehow- it should also be 'in your blood'."

"No. It takes a while to circulate."

"It's been five months."

James checked his watch, "Has it really?"

Lily's eyes had rolled so much that they were in danger of just rolling out of her sockets and into eternity.

"You're going to get yourselves expelled."

"You've been saying that since first year." James pointed out.

"Because it's true. You still have 'till June."

"We've made it this far." Sirius said.

"Well aren't you a lucky bint."

"Very much so." James said, "Lucky that I have quite the greatest girlfriend in the world that will never betray my trust and reveal a top-secret mission to any members of the student body, nay, to even the staff of the fine mannered-establishment that is Hogwarts."

"You've played that card before." Sirius said.

"That's because it works," said James, who shuffled a bit and patted a spot next to his bed "Do you want to help?"

"Not helping." said Lily. She bit her lip, "Just give me all the details and tell me when everything is going to happen and maybe if I spot a hole or two I can help you patch them up."

"Sounds like not not-helping to me." Sirius said.

Lily was not not-helping. She only felt a mild amount of self betrayal as she sat herself on the bed and read the parchment Sirius had given her.

Another thing worthy of mentioning is that while planning and order are an important part of any good celebration, there always has to be an act of rogueness, improv, and spontaneity that comes with it. You can plan to order 147 wet-start fireworks, but you cannot plan for Peter to spill his drink and set all of them off at once.

Otherwise known as organized chaos, as James Potter liked to put it.

You can plan to order half a dozen kegs of butterbeer, but you cannot plan the exact demand of butterbeer and other external factors, like Remus Lupin's ability to chug the brew for an inhumanely long amount of time.

Planning is important. Improv is also important.

A healthy balance of the two is needed.

This "middle path" is a way of life for James Potter. The balancing of the known and unknown.  
It is a tried and true formula for pulling off the greatest stunts. To make memories.  
Isn't that what Hogwarts is about?

I.V.

Remus was in the hospital. Well, the hospital wing. And it wasn't exactly a rare occurrence for him to be there either. Not a huge deal. In fact, it was likely he'd be able to leave today.

Just a few bruised ribs, really. Nothing to freak out over.

"MOONY! REMUS! MY BUDDY O' PAL O MINE! THE FATHER OF MY UNBORN CHILD! THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO YOUR SWEET INNOCENT FACE? I SHALL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN!" Sirius freaked out.

Remus' eyes narrowed. "You gave me a very minor scratch on my jaw." he said in a monotone voice.

"AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR IT!"

"Good. It's about time you felt a little repentance."

Sirius knelt on the ground. "Forgive me Remus, for I have sinned-"

"You know what? I've changed my mind. This is clearly the worst thing you've ever done to me and I won't stand for it. You will never be forgiven. It's clearly time to end this so called 'friendship' now and go our separate ways. Goodbye, Sirius."

Remus was completely ready to follow through with this, except for the fact that he was under Mme. Pomfrey's orders to not go anywhere and had no desire to cut ties with Sirius at all.

"But who will get custody of our unborn child?" Sirius said.

"Just drop 'em off on the doorstep of an estranged relative somewhere."

"That should work."

"Really no where else for the kid to go." Remus said.

They both nodded like this plan would have no faults. Sirius sat at the end of Remus' bed and fiddled with the crease in the blanket. He wasn't looking at Remus.

"Hey, Mooney?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're alright."

"I'm always alright with you around." was Remus' reply. He also wasn't looking at the other boy.

"Hey, Mooney?" Sirius' voice was raised

"Yes?"

"What'd you write about for that Defense assignment?"

There was a pause. Remus was hoping for a little more of a thoughtful question. "I didn't," he finally replied.

"Well clearly we're both ahead of the game here because neither did I. If I'm being completely honest I was expecting to copy it off of you."

"Well bully for you Padfoot because I was also going to copy it off of you. I'm clearly incapacitated at the moment and haven't the will to do it. Where is your heart?"

"Shush up you're fine. Where's James when we need him the most?"

"Snooping around."

"PRONGS!" Sirius yelled.

James, who was noseying around the Hospital Wing by opening cabinet doors and shutting them again and looking around the drawn curtains shading the other patients, beckoned forward to the usual starched curtain-drawn square that was Remus' once-a-month home.

"Did you do the defense paper assignment thing?" Sirius asked.

"No. I was going to copy it off of you." he said.

"You're the worst."

"That's the kind of attitude that lets me know you're also not getting my unborn child." James said. How the hell did he know they were talking about that? Sensing his look, James answered, "You're surrounded by bedsheets for walls. I can hear everything. Tina Pollengria in the bed across the way to you can also hear everything."

"Yes I can."

Sirius' eyes narrowed in on where her voice was coming from, but his gaze couldn't really travel far considering it was blocked by curtains.

James lowered his voice, "I found some stuff that might be useful for our little gatecrash."

"Like what?" said Sirius

"Nothing that Pomfrey would notice has gone missing. We'll just get it next moon, though. Remus'll have to stay overnight so we can grab it while she's sleeping."

Remus didn't want to stay overnight. He didn't really want to even be a part of the hairbrained scheme those two were coming up with. He wanted no involvement whatsoever. He wanted to have a job after he graduates, and putting "troublemaker" on his resume didn't really look good -especially when it was written below "werewolf." As a matter of fact, Remus wanted a lot of other things too. A nap. For James and Sirius to stop bantering. Sirius himself. A roast beef sandwich.

Slughorn was kind of an arse, he reasoned, but he didn't really have a personal vendetta against him. James and Sirius don't even have anything against Slughorn, just the fact that he's an old man who throws boring old man parties. He could try and stop them. He has tried to stop James and Sirius from doing stupid stuff in the past, and every time he tries he never succeeds. They always ended up doing the stupid stuff and getting in trouble for it. If they want detention every day until the end of the school year, that was their choice. He didn't want to be a part of it. Simple as that.


End file.
